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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
surfer
post Posted: Jan 11 2019, 08:34 AM
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How to handle a phone scam




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_RcITCY0dc





Said 'Thanks' for this post: triage  lgrif  
 
surfer
post Posted: Nov 25 2018, 12:27 PM
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Excommunicated

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

 
blacksheep
post Posted: Nov 23 2018, 03:17 PM
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Hedgeye's cartoon of the day (USA Thanksgiving Day) - "Thankful" - do these turkey's know something the Bull doesn't?
Attached File(s)
Attached File  DsjKjMOWkAEzmFd.jpg ( 129.82K ) Number of downloads: 3
Attached File  DsiQvUmX4AAo9jq.jpg ( 144.5K ) Number of downloads: 2

 




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The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Edgar Fiedler

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington
 
joules mm1
post Posted: Nov 10 2018, 10:51 AM
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channelling your inner Clive James
Kellyann Conway

" In an interview with the Washington Post in August, Conway said her husband’s tweets were viewed as “disrespectful” but did not want to talk about them.

“I’ve never actually said what I think about it and I won’t say what I think about it, which tells you what I think about it,” she told the Post."




https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trum..._source=twitter



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. . . . . . . . everything has an art.....in the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price
 
joules mm1
post Posted: Nov 8 2018, 02:02 PM
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top read
link: https://twitter.com/i/moments/1060323978500165633
(not a spoiler): An office screw-up at a talent agency for the ages
Personal story 2 hours ago
The often ruthless and ungrateful world of climbing the talent agency ladder gets more complicated if you cross someone like @quinncy's former boss.




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. . . . . . . . everything has an art.....in the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price

Said 'Thanks' for this post: blacksheep  
 
bigspace
post Posted: Sep 19 2018, 04:01 PM
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Me reading this all

 


surfer
post Posted: Aug 26 2018, 05:09 PM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knob-rB35AI

 
surfer
post Posted: Aug 26 2018, 10:07 AM
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THE BANKING ROYAL COMMISSION





Pause for thought



Robbers entered a bank in a small town.

One of them shouted: "Don't move! The money belongs to the bank. Your lives belong to you."

Immediately all the people in the bank lay on the floor quietly and without panic.

This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their view of the situation.



One woman lay on the floor in a provocative manner.

The robber approached her saying, "Ma'am, this is a robbery not a rape.

Please behave accordingly."

This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal.



While running from the bank the youngest robber, who had a college degree, said to the oldest robber, who had barely finished elementary school:

"Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole?" The older man replied:

"Don't be stupid. It's a lot of money so let's wait for the news on TV to find out how much money was taken from the bank."

This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree.



After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant: "Let's call the cops and tell them how much has been stolen".

"Wait, said the Accountant, "before we do that, let's add the $800,000 we took for ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen as part of today's robbery."

This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity.



The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed of $3 million. The robbers then counted the money, but they found only $1 million so they started to grumble.

"We risked our lives for $1 million, while the bank's management robbed two million dollars without blinking.

Maybe it's better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber."

This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power.



Moral: Give a person a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a person a bank, and he can rob everyone.





Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  Pendragon  
 
surfer
post Posted: Jul 23 2018, 12:39 PM
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Subject: Doctor in Dublin


A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work, so he approached his assistant!


"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic so I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the turd one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!'

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.



"I put drops in her eyes, and sent her to Specsavers.

 
triage
post Posted: Jul 11 2018, 05:05 PM
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It's soccer time ...

https://imgur.com/gallery/uY6KpjL

https://imgur.com/gallery/ctzLYAG



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"The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent." John Maynard Keynes

"The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought." Rudiger Dornbush

Mozart fixes everything and Messi is a dog

Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  
 
 


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