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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
mullokintyre
post Posted: Feb 6 2020, 03:33 PM
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From the excellent satiriical site Babylon Bee
QUOTE
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In his opening statement at Trump's impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of their solemn duty and the gravity of just what it is they will be discussing at the trial.


Schiff warned that if Trump is not impeached, the American people may have a chance to tamper with the next election.

"If President Trump is not impeached, the American people might get a say in who is president," Schiff said gravely. "We simply can't allow that to happen. We must diligently defend our electoral process against electoral outcomes we do not like. If that means seizing power through a sham impeachment trial, so be it."

"When the Founders wrote that founding document thing, they never imagined there would be electoral outcomes that Democrats did not agree with."

Democrats also said they even have hard evidence that the 2016 election was compromised by Republicans voting for Trump.

"We know this horrible outcome could happen, because it's already happened once before."


and

QUOTE
NEW YORK—Presidential hopeful Michael Bloomberg acquired his first supporter today, Bloomberg reports. The man, Tom Kenny of the East Village, was purchased for a hefty $1.7 billion, which he claims was a bargain.


It all started when Kenny heard one of Bloomberg’s many brilliant ads on the radio. “I’ve always loved the guy,” Kenny said while being frisked by a police officer. “I’ve also always loved Big Gulps too, though, so there’s that, but I was just so convinced by the ad.” The ad began by listing some of Mayor Bloomberg’s many accomplishments, but then quickly moved to offering citizens a large sum of cash in return for full-fledged support of the candidate in the 2020 presidential race.

When Kenny arrived at the big investment bank to cash in on his vote, he was surprised to find that nobody else had shown up to collect. However, he knew from his studies in college that this gave him a tremendous advantage. “They offered me 50 million,” Kenny claimed, shaking his head. “I said, ‘50 billion and we’ve got ourselves a deal.'” Kenny admits he may have aimed a little high, but was glad to exit the bank with a $1.7 billion check in his hand.

Elizabeth Warren chimed in on the issue, claiming she will tax the sale at 100% on her first day as president. The task may prove more difficult for Warren than it seems, though, since Kenny has already blown at least half of the money on luxury jets and Yeezys.


Mick



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sent from my Olivetti Typewriter.

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joules mm1
post Posted: Feb 3 2020, 12:55 PM
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Reuters‏Verified account @Reuters 1m1 minute ago Financial market website Zero Hedge knocked off Twitter over coronavirus story https://reut.rs/2GOwCZC





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. . . . . . . . everything has an art.....in the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price
 
early birds
post Posted: Jan 28 2020, 11:44 AM
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https://twitter.com/MgOqkzLBRPLCHyN/status/...%2F9060035.html


the headline says ------------------in this moment money lost it's function!!!

it is about people try to buy food{ rice} , so they can stay home , that will less chance to be affected by the virus . kit is other cities, not in wuhang .
people really scared in china.




 
early birds
post Posted: Jan 18 2020, 10:02 AM
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may be this is the prop thread?? don't know where to put this laughing thingy.............................
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https://www.marketwatch.com/story/are-you-f...7?mod=home-page

Are you f—ing kidding me?’ Monica Lewinsky appears to respond to Ken Starr’s joining the Trump defense team

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honna be make Mrs Clinton so proud .................. lmaosmiley.gif ..........

PS, don't like doing gossies much, but this is a real funny one.....................

 
joules mm1
post Posted: Dec 19 2019, 03:07 PM
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been that kinda week for the Americans

(Reuters) - The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) removed the fictional country of Wakanda from an online list of nations that have free trade agreements with the United States on Thursday.




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. . . . . . . . everything has an art.....in the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price
 
nipper
post Posted: Dec 16 2019, 07:24 PM
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Good News for the Australian Film Industry

A sequel to the award-winning "Silence of the Lambs" is to be made locally. Retired boxer Jeff Fenech is the surprise director, and the putative title is "Shut up, ewes".



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"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne

Said 'Thanks' for this post: trisail  mullokintyre  Pendragon  
 

sentifi.com

Share Cafe Sentifi Top themes and market attention on:


surfer
post Posted: Dec 16 2019, 06:06 PM
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The jewish quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.

KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.

BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.

And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are no longer my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get bashed!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!

 
surfer
post Posted: Nov 17 2019, 10:27 AM
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The Sixteen Commandments of Growing Older


1 Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.

2 Consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit

3 You don't need anger management. You need people to stop p****ng you off.

4 Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work

5 The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

6 You have days when your life is just a tent away from a circus.

7 These days, "on time" is when you get there.

8 Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

9 Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

10 You've noticed people your age are so much older than you.

11 "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why you're there.

12 When you were a child, you thought nap time was punishment. Now it feels like a mini vacation.

13 Some days you have no idea what you're doing out of bed.

14 You thought growing old would take longer.

15 Ageing sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

16 You still haven't learned to act your age.


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joules mm1
post Posted: Nov 5 2019, 03:53 PM
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Reuters‏Verified account @Reuters 2h2 hours ago

President Trump said he hadn’t heard reports that smugglers were cutting through the U.S.-Mexico border wall. ‘One of the reasons we did it the way we did it, it's very easily fixed. You put the chunk back in,’ he said.



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. . . . . . . . everything has an art.....in the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price
 
nipper
post Posted: Oct 29 2019, 11:38 AM
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"There is clearly the crazy shit like WeWork going on but WeWork is a real outlier in terms of net crazy," said Daniel Petre of AirTree Ventures



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"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne
 
 


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