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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
post Posted: Nov 25 2018, 12:27 PM
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A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

post Posted: Nov 23 2018, 03:17 PM
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Hedgeye's cartoon of the day (USA Thanksgiving Day) - "Thankful" - do these turkey's know something the Bull doesn't?
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The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers. Edgar Fiedler

If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. George Washington
joules mm1
post Posted: Nov 10 2018, 10:51 AM
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channelling your inner Clive James
Kellyann Conway

" In an interview with the Washington Post in August, Conway said her husband’s tweets were viewed as “disrespectful” but did not want to talk about them.

“I’ve never actually said what I think about it and I won’t say what I think about it, which tells you what I think about it,” she told the Post."

. . . . . . . . everything has an the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price
joules mm1
post Posted: Nov 8 2018, 02:02 PM
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top read
(not a spoiler): An office screw-up at a talent agency for the ages
Personal story 2 hours ago
The often ruthless and ungrateful world of climbing the talent agency ladder gets more complicated if you cross someone like @quinncy's former boss.

. . . . . . . . everything has an the instance of the auction process, the only thing, needed to be listened to; price

Said 'Thanks' for this post: blacksheep  
post Posted: Sep 19 2018, 04:01 PM
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Me reading this all

post Posted: Aug 26 2018, 05:09 PM
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post Posted: Aug 26 2018, 10:07 AM
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Pause for thought

Robbers entered a bank in a small town.

One of them shouted: "Don't move! The money belongs to the bank. Your lives belong to you."

Immediately all the people in the bank lay on the floor quietly and without panic.

This is an example of how the correct wording of a sentence can make everyone change their view of the situation.

One woman lay on the floor in a provocative manner.

The robber approached her saying, "Ma'am, this is a robbery not a rape.

Please behave accordingly."

This is an example of how to behave professionally, and focus on the goal.

While running from the bank the youngest robber, who had a college degree, said to the oldest robber, who had barely finished elementary school:

"Hey, maybe we should count how much we stole?" The older man replied:

"Don't be stupid. It's a lot of money so let's wait for the news on TV to find out how much money was taken from the bank."

This is an example of how life experience is more important than a degree.

After the robbery, the manager of the bank said to his accountant: "Let's call the cops and tell them how much has been stolen".

"Wait, said the Accountant, "before we do that, let's add the $800,000 we took for ourselves a few months ago and just say that it was stolen as part of today's robbery."

This is an example of taking advantage of an opportunity.

The following day it was reported in the news that the bank was robbed of $3 million. The robbers then counted the money, but they found only $1 million so they started to grumble.

"We risked our lives for $1 million, while the bank's management robbed two million dollars without blinking.

Maybe it's better to learn how to work the system, instead of being a simple robber."

This is an example of how knowledge can be more useful than power.

Moral: Give a person a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a person a bank, and he can rob everyone.

Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  Pendragon  
post Posted: Jul 23 2018, 12:39 PM
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Subject: Doctor in Dublin

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work, so he approached his assistant!

"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic so I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients."

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the turd one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!'

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes, and sent her to Specsavers.

post Posted: Jul 11 2018, 05:05 PM
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It's soccer time ...

"The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent." John Maynard Keynes

"The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought." Rudiger Dornbush

Mozart fixes everything and Messi is a dog

Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  
post Posted: Jul 8 2018, 04:07 PM
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Enjoy. Max volume!
Subject: Shell Oil commercial - You might forget this is an oil commercial so enjoy the sights, speeds, and sounds of this one.

Here's a link to a Shell commercial shown in Europe.

[b]Can you just imagine the red tape, permits and cost to pull off
this commercial?

Ostensibly, they're selling gasoline, but the cars used in the video steal the show.

Ferrari pulled several of their race cars from various ages out of storage, flew them around the world and filmed them running through the streets of Rome, Rio, New York, Hong Kong, Honolulu and Monaco.

No computer graphics, these are the original cars on the original streets.
The best part is the sound from the basso-profundo notes of the early, front-engine era, each scene cuts to a later generation, ending with the wail of a modern F1 car.

[b]Even if you're not a petrolhead, this video will stir the soul.

There's just something about 3 litres and 14,000 RPM![/b]

Said 'Thanks' for this post: henrietta  

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