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A little Friday humour, OR any day you want to share a laugh
early birds
post Posted: Jul 1 2019, 11:17 AM
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https://au.yahoo.com/news/newspaper-cartoon...-234500072.html

A cartoonist in Canada says he was effectively fired after producing a controversial cartoon of US president Donald Trump which has been described as both “in poor taste” and “heartbreakingly accurate”


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hahahha lmaosmiley.gif
hey !!! where is the democracy???? emmmmm, more of damn---crazy under the Trumpie----------YOU ARE FIRED !!!!! lmaosmiley.gif




Said 'Thanks' for this post: triage  
 
nipper
post Posted: Jun 25 2019, 02:50 PM
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ƒ(x) walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't cater for functions."



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"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne

Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  triage  henrietta  
 
nipper
post Posted: May 24 2019, 11:56 AM
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As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at the Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside is heard screaming
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"
The Vicar looks around, then leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters
"Too late, pal, I've already done the paperwork."



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"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne

Said 'Thanks' for this post: mullokintyre  Pendragon  henrietta  
 
triage
post Posted: May 23 2019, 05:32 PM
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In Reply To: early birds's post @ May 22 2019, 08:20 PM

eb - thanks for that. There is a park called Jingshan Park which is immediately north of the forbidden city in Beijing where on weekends crowds of people go to either ballroom dance (or some other form of group exercise) or to sing patriotic songs. Mostly the people who knew all the old revolutionary songs were the older generation but there would always be a smattering of younger people as well. Made for an enjoyable outing.

Also I remember the time when China played Japan at the main soccer stadium in Beijing and over 50,000 beiren began chanting "kill the japanese". The Japanese team had to get extra protection to get out of the stadium unharmed. I have little doubt that the Chinese populace will fall totally in line with the authorities as soon as there is any preceived external challenge. When stirred China can out-North Korea North Korea. I would not want to be an expat living in China should Trumpy attempt to humiliate China. (sorry, wrong thread).



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"The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent." John Maynard Keynes

"The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought." Rudiger Dornbush

Mozart fixes everything and Messi is a dog

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early birds
post Posted: May 22 2019, 08:20 PM
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i laughed so much----in freaking tears..hahaha lmaosmiley.gif

http://www.wenxuecity.com/news/2019/05/21/8332242.html

hi triage, this is real Mao era's song they just changed words to "trade war"#
f$%^ing stupid trump he pushed chinese insane as well!!! hahahahhahah

triage ....now this is real "10 years culture revolution" stuff. no kidding!!

seems this trade war turn for the worse case..




Said 'Thanks' for this post: nipper  triage  
 
surfer
post Posted: May 13 2019, 10:55 AM
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An old station hand named Billy was overseeing his mob in a remote pasture in the outback when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.


The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the old man, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"


Billy looks at the young man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"


The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.


The yuppie then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .....


Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to Billy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, you'll be helpin yourself to one of me calves, then, since you won it fair en square." says Billy.


He watches the smartly dressed yuppie select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the man gingerly picks it up & stuffs it into the boot of his car.


As the yuppie is carefully brushing the dust & hair off his suit, Billy says, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what work you do & where you come from, will you give me back my calf?"


The yuppie thinks about it for a second, wondering what this wrinkled up dirt encrusted uneducated old man could possibly know? He grins and then says, "Okay, old fella, why not? I'm a believer in fair play."


"You're a politician & you work in Canberra." says the old timer.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but, tell me how on earth did you guess that?"


"No guessing required." answered Billy "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a mob of sheep.


Now give me back my dog."


 


mullokintyre
post Posted: May 8 2019, 06:24 AM
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Godly inluence in USA

Move over Mueller, there is a need for a proper investigation into Foreign Entity Influence in US Politics.

Well, I thought it was funny!.

Mick



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sent from my Olivetti Typewriter.

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nipper
post Posted: May 2 2019, 06:32 PM
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QUOTE
I used to think orthotics were useless but now I stand corrected




--------------------
"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne
 
nipper
post Posted: Mar 1 2019, 08:50 AM
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QUOTE
... if only we could avoid the losses, we would all be winners.

The first rule of making money in the share market is not to lose it.

So here are my top-10 tips on not losing money:

Inside information
I have a colleague who has traded professionally all his life. It’s what he does. He tells us: “If I had never been given any inside information, I would be a million pounds better off than I am today”.

Initial public offerings
The golden rule of initial public offerings is that if it’s any good you won’t get offered it.
If you get offered it, you don’t want it.
IPOs are not a road to gold. Most of them are insiders selling you their company at the highest price they can get.

Pretending to be Warren Buffett
The concept that you can emulate the legendary Warren Buffett has cost investors more than it has ever made them.
No-one has ever managed to replicate Buffett’s performance.
The concept that you can is the biggest drawcard the equity market marketing department has ever played and it is a lie. We all keep buying the dream.

Gurus
In our search for answers to the stock market’s unanswerable questions, we credit our commentators with vastly more powers than they could possibly deserve or possess.
And dangerously, he who guesses the boldest guesses the longest.

Greed
The biggest killer of them all. Approaching the stock market with greed is like running onto a battlefield in bright orange. It will get you.

Leverage
Leverage is marketed one way but it works both ways. You lose much faster as well. That means it only works for some of the time — not all of the time.
It only works when you are right and with average equity returns after interest, transaction costs, inflation and tax of close to zero.
You had better be right and right at the right time.
You cannot habitually use leverage to “invest” — unless you have a massive financial cushion.

Confidence
What’s the core function of the finance industry? I’ll tell you. It’s marketing.
The finance industry is never short of a success story to free your wallet from its back pocket, so we sell success and examples of the successful, and suggest it comes from mere participation in financial markets.
When it comes to marketing, losers don’t attract attention, so you won’t hear about those.
The winners stay and play and we raise them up. The losers, conveniently, go away.

Expectations
The root of all happiness. The root of all unhappiness. Expect the unexpectable and expect the inevitable. Best you expect the expectable.

Laziness
The nucleus of many of the market’s very large and public losses.
There has been more money lost through laziness than effort.
Let’s get this straight. There is no easy route to riches in the stock market. There is no free lunch, so participation without effort is not enough.

Life
My mum used to say there are three foundations for spiritual and financial happiness and success — your relationship, your job and where you live. Get one of those wrong and they all go wrong.

No mention of the stock market in there. The stock market is not life. It is a side issue.

The biggest financial decisions you will make in your life have nothing to do with the stock market.

Like getting married, getting divorced, having kids, investing in your home and committing to your career or your business. These are the biggest financial decisions you’ll ever make. Focus on those.

The stock market is not a priority.
- Marcus Padley



--------------------
"Every long-term security is nothing more than a claim on some expected future stream of cash that will be delivered into the hands of investors over time. For a given stream of expected future cash payments, the higher the price investors pay today for that stream of cash, the lower the long-term return they will achieve on their investment over time." - Dr John Hussman

"If I had even the slightest grasp upon my own faculties, I would not make essays, I would make decisions." ― Michel de Montaigne
 
surfer
post Posted: Jan 11 2019, 08:34 AM
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How to handle a phone scam




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_RcITCY0dc





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