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A little Friday humour


mminion

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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

* Indubitably

* Preliminary

* Proliferation

 

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

* Specificity

* Antidisestablishmentarianism

* Loquacious

* Transubstantiate

 

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

* Thanks, but I don't want to have sex

* Nope, no more booze for me

* Sorry, but you're not really my type

* Oh, no, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

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It is unfortunate that the cheats make it difficult for everyone else......With a back ground in equestrian, a sport where drugs would be unlikely to give a competitor any advantage, I have had numerous drug tests including a knock on the front door out of season...For a 15yo it is likely a very uncomfortable situation...IF ASADA could have provided hot blonde bikini clad chicks as testers I personnally would have felt far more willing to participate!!!

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Sleeping Attire"

 

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.

 

"Never let your husband see you in the nude," she advised. "You should always wear something."

 

"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.

 

Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked,

"Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?"

 

"Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?

 

"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night you've worn that silly hat to bed."

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only for computer nerds: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

-------------------------------------------

 

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,

Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,

That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

 

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of Gauss,

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,

Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,

Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

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Kim Jong-un " sexiest man alive" apparently, according to some perhaps satirical newspaper reporting. I was thinking that perhaps the speller got a bit mixed up, and it should read, Kim Jong " un-sexiest man alive". Cheers J

 

Ps. Can't get rid of the capital "J", which should be lower case .

 

 

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